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Let’s talk longevity. Longevity defined by –  a long individual life; great duration of individual life.

I have a personal goal to live healthily to my 100th birthday. When I tell people that I get a myriad of reactions.
Why would you want to live so long?
“That sounds terrible.”
“Do you think you can?”
“But you used to smoke, doesn’t that shorten your lifespan?”

I came up with that goal mostly because I am a goal oriented person. Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to make it through the day. The world we live in today is full of heartbreak. I often wake up feeling sad and distraught about the most recent shooting or presidential tirade. Let me be clear the tirades on both sides are exhausting. There is no horse here to mount, if you are pro or against you both are exhausting. Maybe one of you is “right” but both of you give me anxiety. And now you’re the reason I want to start smoking again.

I work for an amazing company that is vision driven, mission oriented and provides all the perks and benefits anyone could want. I work from home most of the time. But I am not satisfied.
I quit last March.
But had to stay due to various circumstances, or did I?
Why did I stay?
Why didn’t I stick to my exit plan?
I planned on initially giving notice in Oct 2017 but I stayed to help with a big project. Then my husband had a job change mid 2018 and I stayed again.
But why?
Did it ever really have to do with money?
Or was it something else?

I collected all these things. I live in a 4,250 square foot townhouse in Alexandria, VA that is literally FULL of stuff. We never get cars into the garage, even though we have tried. And I don’t want to do it, but then almost everyday there is another Amazon box, with more stuff I don’t really need.

If I am going to live another 65 years, I feel like I need to get a handle on this whole life thing and what its all about. I just really don’t get it at all. I have pondered it quite a bit and don’t seem to get anywhere with the pondering.

But I look at the people in my company who are really “Growing” or “Successful” and don’t get me wrong people could put me in that category. But what are they actually doing? Like really. They are looking into flat screens and moving pixels around and sending their versions of a set of pixels to another person that is also looking at a flat screen. I mean have you ever stopped and thought about what you are doing right now? You are looking into a metal/plastic/glass box that is displaying pixels. And you do that for like 6+ hours a day. Why? How did this become what we do? I mean I LOVE TO DO IT! I am not judging one bit just pondering. Don’t worry the irony that this is a blog post is not lost on me.

What is success in life? Or what would my life look like such that when I am 100 years old I can say, “Damn, I totally nailed life!” That is what I really want to get to. And this is the turning point.

Here are some possible measures:

Is it 1,000 Facebook friends? Is it 40 people who come to your birthday party? Is it a $1M net worth? Is it weighing a certain weight or being a certain BMI? Is it publishing a book? Or starting a business?

I thought it was getting a great job with a great company, a husband, a dog, a house and two kids. I did all of that and in that order. But after I got all of that I realized that kids are A LOT of time and energy and require a substantial amount of money to do it “right.” They need all kinds of stuff. Husbands are fantastic, at least you have a teammate, but they also require A LOT of time and energy. And my poor dog I have left many places because I simply forgot her. I mean I feel bad but it’s happened more than I care to admit. And the job, I love the job but I never stop thinking about it, in the shower, in bed, at 2am, during work hours and ultimately all my work is making someone else who is in a different company WAY more money than I will ever see, and that just doesn’t seem fair to me.

So now I am like,  “Well, maybe if I weigh 149 pounds, publish a book and start a $10M business, I am all about lofty goals, I will then have it all figured out.”

We are also exploring moving to Puerto Rico, Costa Rica or Panama. Surely once I am in a chill place where I can “relax,” then I will have figured it out. And I wanted to say be happy. So let’s talk about being “Happy” for a minute. Is that a goal? And how is that defined and measured?

Here is what says “1: obsolete : good fortune : prosperity 2a : a state of well-being and contentment : joy. b : a pleasurable or satisfying experience”

If I am content 10% of the time does that mean I am “Happy” or do I have to be like a blissed out yogi in order to make the cut? Don’t get me wrong I love blissed out yogis, but is that the goal? To be that? Because if it is I am DEFINITELY doing it wrong.

That’s enough for today. This is “Longevity.” In PLAA. This is what I will explore, if you are interested you should subscribe.